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I’m pregnant, shouldn’t I be happy?

Initially I was.

And then the morning sickness kicked in. Except it wasn’t just morning sickness, it was ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT sickness.

I was on a drug regimen ASADA would have been investigating, with alarms for waking and taking. I tried acupuncture, I tried ginger and I tried those sea sickness bands you wear on your wrist. Each time I would visit my obstetrician she would jab me in the ass with B12, update my scripts and say ‘you’re going to start feeling better soon’.

But I didn’t. Not even after iron infusions in the Chemo Ward at the hospital. I still feel insanely guilty for being there and watching these brave people get their chemo.

Hyperemesis is no joke people and I envy women with perfect pregnancies and no I don’t want to hear about it.

At  the time, I had my very best friend Sherri living with us. It was the best. She took over the cooking and cleaning whilst I madly went around throwing out all of my husband’s Rexona deoderants (to this day I cannot smell the red can without gagging) and shooting daggers his way when he declared ‘I’m so sick of hearing you spew everyday’. YES THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED. To be fair it would be pretty annoying. 

Sherri would also drive us the 7 minute commute to work and wait patiently for me to finish my vomit in the gutter. And you know who cleaned it up when I spewed through my hands and onto the floor. 

 

Because we had had trouble falling pregnant and two miscarriages, the conflicting feelings of being so grateful I could finally fall pregnant and keep it, and hating being pregnant really did a number on me. Many a night I would cry myself to sleep. It really made me question whether I could even have another one.

Four years on, due to a few reasons I still only have the one  and she is so blooming perfect.

The sickness did eventually leave thankfully, 3 days after  having my daughter in October 2015. It continued throughout the labour which just added to the awful experience (blog post to come).

To all the women out there going through something similar – I salute you.

Just remember, if pregnancy were easy, men would be doing it.

Honestly, Sarah.

Please remember that this is my journey and my words. I have also had experience with infertility and miscarriage which I will talk about in another post.

 

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Saint Sherri. That's not a basketball under my shirt.
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